From my very conception in this lifetime, I knew it was not going to feel safe to be here. I was conceived as an act of defiance at a time when women did not have children out of wedlock, especially with married men. Those who did were sent away “to visit relatives“ and miraculously showed up 9 or 10 months later, with no story to tell.
So, when I showed up in this world, there was no familiar voice, no skin to skin, or any of what we have learned to be so important in the first days of life. This was to be my first Initiation in this lifetime, and it did exactly what it was supposed to do–it shaped my experience to be what it needed to be so that I could become who I needed to become in this lifetime.
So, when I finally was taken home from the orphanage 3 1/2 months after my birth, I had already made my first major decision. A part of me should stand watch outside of my body to make sure no one would ever think of abandoning me again. If I at least appeared to be perfect, that would be my best chance! And so…my leaving pattern was born. From then on, when I felt scared, or overwhelmed by strong emotions, I would leave my body. Quite simple. So easy to do, I didn’t realize I was doing it – until I had an invitation to do otherwise – an invitation to stay, even when the emotions might feel like a little TOO much.
I accepted that invitation, and it has completely changed my healing process and pretty much the way I do life. Before, I was mostly using my body as a dumping ground, a storage unit for all of the emotions I couldn’t quite process. And who the heck wants to reside in THAT body? That body is filled with triggers, hurts, sadness, anger, guilt, grief–any repressed emotion you can think of! It resides there!! So I chose to go into my body and feel, really profoundly tune in to what an embodied emotion feels like.
I went in with a sense of curiosity…I wonder what sadness really feels like…I wonder what exuberance really feels like…I wonder…I wonder…I wonder. It was like experiencing my life from a completely different vantage point. The emotions were sometimes intense, but they were always grounded in my human form. They had a place to dwell, a way to be processed, and they definitely lacked that fever pitch intensity that I used to feel when most of my energy was above me…and worse, when it was stuck in my head.
NOW, I KNOW HOW TO HEAL THROUGH MY BODY, and my sacred vessel is no longer a storage place for all of the life events I could not process. I experience a full range of emotion, not just highs and lows. And even more important than that, JOY feels soft and easy rather than so zingy that I cannot handle it for too long. Allowing emotions to register in my body gives them somewhere to land, adding a softness and a depth to them that was not available before. I feel a level of compassion for myself that was hard to achieve when I was not in my body. And that is just the tip of the Unicorn horn! (a little magical reference for all of you magical beings who are still with me.)
And so I invite you to do the same…whether you inhabit the skies above or have the tendency to bury your energy deep in the Earth below or you tend to merge with those around you in the form of co-dependency. Whatever you have chosen as your escape route, I invite you to come on a journey of Embodied healing, where the embodiment is part of the healing and the healing a part of embodiment.
Because…
Embodiment is where it is at! Very simple. We cannot do what we are here to do unless we are EMBODIED, fully committed to inhabiting our sacred vessels, yes–even when life is difficult, especially when life is difficult. We are meant to be bridges between Heaven and Earth, channeling Spirit into Mama Gaia. To do this, we MUST be in our bodies! Ascension is no longer a process of leaving the body behind. This is the new ask. Be fully Embodied, fully engaged with our lives AND fully connected to Spirit and Mama Gaia all at the same time. This is our Call to Action! NOW IS OUR TIME!